Reminiscing on Thirty Moments of Kenlos
by KendallMySpidermanInTheVans
Summary: Thirty meaningful moments of Kendall and Carlos's relationship expressed in Kendall's point of view through a series of drabbles. Based on the the 30 Day Tumblr Drabble Challenge. Rated M just to be safe! Warning: Slash!
1. Beginning

**A/N: I don't even know with this story, honestly. This was basically my attempt to get rid of writers block after I stumbled upon this fun, little challenge on Tumblr. I actually started five new stories...none of which I had even finished yet. That reminds me...I have to update BOTPC. I promised myself that I'd have chapter ten posted by the time I go back to school (September 5th) but at this rate, I don't know how that's going to happen. Please PM ideas of what you want to see happen to Kendall! I do not know what to include in the chapters anymore! I try to make it as long as I can for you guys...which is usally well over 15 pages but GAH! I hate writers block! The only idea I have right now for Chapter nine is the fact that something's going to happen with Kendall's grandma. Yes, I'm an evil child. Anyway, back to this story...or drabble. So I know I have always shipped Kogan (and I still do) but due to recent pictures from the Big Time Summer Tour, which I will be attending on August 18th, I am starting to ship Kenlos (With a submissive Kendall of course). I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE! Like gosh! I can't help it anymore the two are so cute! Like it's the two innocents mashed together into one giant bowl of fluff and adorableness! So that's where this started. I apologize for any grammar mistakes. Even though I proofread this eight times, I am one hundred percent sure that I missed something. I'm also sorry because this drabble is going to be complete crap. I really don't think it makes sense at all but whatever. Hope you enjoy it...somewhat.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or anything else in this drabble that obviously doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

I wasn't the type of guy that allowed his heart to fall so madly in love only to have it broken mere moments later. I wasn't the type of guy that blushed the color of a romantic rose petal every time my crush just so happened to stroll past me in the school hallway, and I certainly wasn't the guy that acted submissive in a relationship. That was and still is true except when I'm around _him_—the bouncy, doe-eyed Latino. Gosh, how that name makes my heart flutter every time I say it. From the way you have to touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth to the way your mouth makes the O shape while pronouncing every short "A" vowel; every consonant, every mouth movement was perfect just like the man who ultimately yet secretly owned my heart.

Now, this wasn't the type of cute, little crush that lasted for a few months. No, my heart's longing to have him securely in it was seemingly everlasting. It had been this way before I could even understand what love was or more importantly, how to even talk.

I'll eternally reminisce on the October of 1996. It wasn't because it was the first time I had ever played out in the snow, or because I had taken my first steps during that month. It was because that was the month when my mother introduced me to him—the first time I ever lay my eyes on that flawless Greek God like anatomy known as Carlos Roberto Garcia. Even at the mere age of thirteen months, I knew my heart would never be the same ever again, because _he_ had abducted it and placed his gorgeous body into it as an interminable memory.

My mother and his mother had been friends practically since birth as well. They grew up together as the best of friends and shared every laugh, smile, hug and tear with each other. Looking back on it, I'm glad my mother and his mother arranged to get together that chilly Tuesday on the twenty-second of October because that's what began it all. Since the very millisecond that my colossal emerald eyes met up with his, I never wanted to leave his side. I was like his newborn puppy and he was my trainer; I followed him _everywhere_. He never minded though. Although we were only one and a half years apart, the two year old considered me as his little brother—the little brother he never had. I didn't think of him as _just_ my older brother; I thought of him of something more. There was just something about the way his wide, cocoa, brown orbs sparkled under the sunlight and the way his soft, caramel skin resembled the comfort and gentleness of a pillow; the way his toothy grin lit up the room like a candle and made me smile my own toothless one; the way my heart bubbled into a melting pot of security and comfort whenever he wrapped his skinny yet strong arms around my fragile, two foot nine figure; the way my freckled cheeks heated up into a deep shade of crimson every time he intertwined our fingers even if he was just helping my infant body to get up the stairs.

I remember I used to bawl my little eyes out every time Carlos left to go home with his mother. Even though we'd end up seeing each other hours later since he lived right across the street, I felt like every moment without him wasn't a upbeat, ecstatic one. Sure I was exhilarated to spend bonding time with my mother and father but Carlos was mine. Until I saw him the next day, I missed him like a fat kid misses his triple layer chocolate cake at fat camp. It actually came to the point where he was invading my little one year old dreams and thoughts whenever my mother got tired of my ceaseless wailing and flailing for Carlos and decided put my crabby ass and me down for a nap. My petite heart beat for him; it longed for him. It caused released butterflies to fly about in my stomach. He was my love. He was my Carlos.

* * *

**A/N: So how did you guys like the first drabble? Ehhh...you probably didn't like it. Reviews? Maybe...I don't know. Just review if you want to. Anyway, even though this is a Kenlos story, Peace, Love, and Kogie my friends! (:**


	2. Accusation

**A/N: Well, I absolutely hate this chapter. It is horribly written and yeah... I'm just so excited because I found out I'm in all Honors classes! HARVARD HERE I COME! hahahaha so yeah i was too excited to write but I knew I had to update so here is the failure of an update. It was really hard to write so don't judge!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or Justin Bieber**

* * *

You know that feeling you get when you love someone but they don't love you back; that feeling where your heart just drops into the endless pit of your stomach and finally cracking into a million ruby, glass, shards once it hits the bottom; that feeling where you believe that all hope is lost and you just want to crawl up in a hole and wallow in your own self pity until you die? I called it the pain of growing up because once Carlos began the eighth grade and I started seventh, I had to experience emotional agony just like that, only worse.

I guess I should've seen this coming in the first place. Carlos always thought of me as his younger brother. Never was I more to him. Basically, I was just the baby that Carlos let tag along with him because he felt bad that I didn't have any friends. That was true; my only friends were him and the two other eight graders in the neighborhood, Logan and James, but that was only because we were sort of forced to hang out with each other since we were all friends with Carlos. He didn't love me the way I loved him, but my heart couldn't bear to let him go. He was my kryptonite. He was my rock. He was my love.

Carlos was always very athletic. Since he was three, he knew how to skate and eventually learned how to play hockey at the age of four. He actually dragged me into playing hockey with him at one point. That's why I wasn't surprised when the tall, muscled Latino made hockey captain of the school hockey team. I had made it too of course but no one really cared. All the girls sprinted after Carlos as if he were Justin Bieber . They blew him kisses, taped mushy love notes to his locker, and worst of all, it came to the point where Carlos started having an interest in those stupid sluts that stalked him like owls.

I recall this one girl he dated—_Marissa_. Oh how I feel like vomiting every time I hear that name. The day Carlos ran up to me practically shrieking that they were officially dating. My heart died that very second. Literally, I could feel it skipping beats. Someone stole _my_ Carlos—_MY_ Carlos. Part of me, well more like one percent of me, wanted me to be happy for Carlos since it was his first girlfriend, and he seemed to be exhilarated about the fact that he was dating the girl, but I just couldn't. Just knowing that Carlos never thought of me like that made feel like I was living a nightmare that kept playing over again with no possible way to escape it. He chose that stupid, blonde, cheerleading skank over me! Okay, maybe stupid blonde was a little bit too hypocritical since I was a blonde myself, but she was still a whore. Everyone in the entire town of Shakopee, Minnesota knew Marissa...err...I mean the _bitch_ as the girl who has slept with basically every male student at our middle school, well everyone _except_ me and hopefully, Carlos.

That's why one day, when Carlos showed up on school with a purple bruise on his neck, I went to the bitch and screamed at her. Screaming doesn't even cover how loudly I was yelling at her! I told that bitch to back off and to never mess with Carlos again. It turns out, Carlos got hit in the neck with a puck when he was practicing hockey yesterday. _Oops_! Sure, he was mad for a day or so, but at least I knew that I had _my_ Carlos back.

* * *

**A/N: Yeaahhh...I didn't like it. Reviews? I'm not really getting much which is obviously understandable! Peace Love and Kogie(:**


	3. Restless

**A/N: So here's chappie three for my two readers! WOO HOO! ... ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN! hahahahaha(: I don't really like this chapter either. This was so far, the second hardest to write. I put my Hot Chelle Rae CD on repeat just so it would give me some motive to write this chapter. I actually forgot about the fact that I had to post it until about two hours ago. So yurrrrppp. I should probably start finishing the eight other fics that I started writing but have not finished. OMG guys! Carlos's burfday is in exactly a week. Who is going to hold me while I cry? MY BABIES ARE GROWING UP! I can't believe he is going to be twenty three already! It feels like yesterday when I saw him on the TV as the Killer Bee Speller nerd thing on Neds Declassified! Awwh Memories! Sorry for any grammar mistakes! I did not proofread this because I was in a Big Time Rush (hehehehhehe fun Rusher puns xD) to post this. I really hope you enjoy it! (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or the album Elevate):**

* * *

Carlos's and my romantic relationship was always overflowing with cloud nine memories of laughs and smiles, but somehow I'll never be able to let go of those, spiteful, terrible recollections. Though it seems sort of wretched, it was definitely on the top twenty list of horrible things that happened during my lifetime.

I'm not a needy person; I'm not submissive, _most_ of the time, but when I'm feeling under the weather or worried, I tend to become a bit clingy. Of course, I just had to get Strep Throat while in the middle of recording the new songs Gustavo had written us for our new album _Elevate_, which meant _no_ singing whatsoever. That meant I had to stay home with my mother and sister while my friends were at the studio for _another_ midnight session. That _also_ meant I had to spend time away from my Carlos which was one of the worst feelings that impacted on my fragile heart.

I absolutely resented bedtime that night. Sleep was hard to accomplish while missing Carlos. My mind circulated around him overtime when we weren't together. What if something bad happened to him which God forbid force us into an elongated goodbye? What if he met a pretty girl or guy..._no_. I had to stop being so pessimistic. Carlos loved me with all of his heart, and I finally realized that about a year ago when he had asked me to be his boyfriend, but did that stop those thoughts from cramming in my mind? _No_. I cannot even recall getting any sleep until probably around two in the morning that night. Traumatic scenarios about Carlos flashed through my mind every time I attempted to close my eyes. I missed my Carlos. I tried so hard to go to sleep and try to forget about Carlos not cuddled up by my side. I drank probably about eight glasses of warm milk, listened to soothing music, and even cuddled with the overly adorable, stuffed panda bear Carlos had won for me at the carnival that he forced me to go to. It still smelled just like him even after having since I was thirteen years old, but that just made me think of Carlos all over again. As babyish as it sounded, I even had my _mother_ sit on my bed and run her fingers through my hair so her comfort would make me fall into a deep slumber. Of course, that didn't work either. All I wanted my Carlos to hold me in his arms so I could be assured that he was safe and still loved me.

I remember the feeling of relief that washed over me as well as my heart like a colossal wave when I heard our squeaky apartment door open. Like the clingy, submissive boyfriend that Carlos made me, I scampered into the room and wrapped my legs and arms around Carlos's waist and neck while softly kissing his baby soft cheek repeatedly.

"Boo-Bear? Why are you still awake?" He inquired me curiously, but I just kept quiet and let salty tears roll down my face as I buried my head into the crook of his neck. I was sleepy, cranky, and just overall upset. "Awwh, Boo-Bear! Why are you crying?"

"Y-you left m-me!" I barely managed to choke out as Carlos hoisted me up on his hip and carried me back to our bedroom.

"I'm sorry Boo-Bear. I'm here now though! You don't have to cry." I remember each gentle peck the slightly shorter Latino gave me after he had said; one on each of my cheeks to kiss away my tears and one on my lips to show that he would never stop loving me and leave forever. It was always his silent yet meaningful way of saying '_I'm so sorry_'. "Were you still awake because you missed me?"

I just somberly nodded my head and snuggled under the blankets, this time with Carlos right by my side. "I can't sleep whenever you're not here. It's too lonely and I get to worried that something bad is going to happen to you."

"Awwh! That's so precious Boo-Bear, but I can assure you that I'll never leave you for a long time ever again."

"Y-you promise?"

"I promise."

Little did I know that Carlos would keep his promise. He was always there for me, forever and always.

* * *

**A/N: So how did you like it my few readers? It really wasn't much (obviously because it's a drabble challenge) but I thought it was fluffy in a way. Reviews please? Your reviews are my chocolate. No matter how much I get, I still want more(; hahahaha okay i apologize for my awkward metaphors. lol :P Anyway, Peace, Love and Kogie(:**


	4. Snowflake

**A/N: Yay! So here's chappie four(: Guess what guys? I'm sick! You know what that means? MORE MOTIVE TO WRITE BECAUSE OF THE POISON CUPCAKES! WOO HOO! ... ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN! ... Yeah... I must be creeping you out right now. So anyway, ven though it was really difficult to write, I think it turned out to be very cute and fluffy. The key word is think guys. Thank you all for the nice reviews! More specifically, a garganutan thank you to: _Morte Giver_, _Lovin'It PJO HoO BTR_, _BigTimeOzzy_, and my one guest reviewer! I did enjoy your chocolate. Anyway, sorry for any grammar mistakes. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: *le whispers to Kendall* Say your lines sweetheart!**

**Kendall: *le whispers back* No! I don't want to be paired up with Carlos! I love Logan and you know that!**

**Carlos: Hey! What's wrong with me? I'm sexy and I'm a whore too! What's not to love?**

**Kendall: I love Logan, Carlos! You're not Logan so shut the Hell up!**

**Me: Kendall, I wouldn't be so sure of that statement after I looked at the Big Time Summer Tour pictures. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if you were cheating on Logan with Carlos and Carlos with James you Schmidtslut!**

**Kendall: *le glares and rolls thy eyes*Fine! Rachel does not Big Time Rush or anyhing else that doesn't belong to her in this chapter.**

**Rachel: See? Was that so hard Boo-Bear?**

**Kendall: *le glares***

**Moral of the story: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Growing up in Minnesota, I was basically surrounded by snow. The sky always had snowflakes plummeting from its icy clouds, so when Carlos, Logan, James and I moved halfway across the country to Los Angeles, California, I couldn't help but get a bit homesick. Scratch that. I was _ultimately_ homesick. I yearned for waking up on a Saturday morning and being able to skate four endless hours on the frozen lake behind my house with my father and having snowball fights in the backyard, but I couldn't leave California and ruin James's dream. He was one of best friends. After two years of living in California, I still couldn't get used to the west coast heat. Sure I loved surfing at the beach but the snow was my home. Even on Carlos's and my second anniversary as a couple, my heart was feeling blue.

That late December day, Carlos tried absolutely _everything_ to make me feel better, but I just turned him down. When he gave me a bouquet of roses, I just tossed them onto my bed and gave him a quiet thank you. When he sang me the song he had written me to tell me how much he loved me, I slightly blushed and turned around to face the wall of our shared bedroom, and even when he when he made me my favorite hot cocoa with a peppermint straw, fluffy, pink, heart shaped marshmallows, and whip cream piled high, I just waved him away with a halfhearted smile.

I always missed the snow year round but December was the only time where it would show. It used to snow every year on Christmas in Minnesota. In California, you'd be lucky if it was less then seventy degrees Fahrenheit on Christmas. All I really wanted was to go home for Christmas and enjoy the holiday snow, but working under Gustavo and Griffin, there was no way that was _ever_ going to happen. I know that I shouldn't wallow in my own self pity on Carlos's and my anniversary but at this point, I couldn't help but feel a little despondent.

I remember how just before the sun went down that evening, Carlos had literally hoisted me up on his forcefully and carried me and downstairs. Despite my enthusiastic and reluctant protests, Carlos held his ground and continued to carry me out of the apartment. Somberly, I nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck when I heard the usual clamor of laughter scampering through the Palm Woods park.

"Happy anniversary Boo-Bear." He said sweetly with slight grin on his face, and I winced as I felt the rush of cold air hit my face. Wait. _Cold_ air? When was it ever cold in California?

Slowly, I opened my eyes and to my surprise, I saw petite snowflakes dancing around the usually lime green surface. "Whoa." That was all I could manage to say as my eyes grew to the size of gargantuan saucers.

The smaller Latino just spun me around exhilarated and sat us down on a picnic blanket that he lay out for us to sit on. "I know that you were upset earlier, so when I saw that it was snowing, I just had to take you outside. I know how much you love the snow."

All I wanted to do was kiss Carlos senseless at the moment, so I did. I literally smashed my lips against his and wrapped my small arms around his slender, baby soft neck. "Have I ever told you how much I love you babe?"

Carlos just giggled and sat me on his lap. "Of course you have Boo-Bear. You tell me every day how you love me more than infinity and beyond."

Nodding my head with contentment, I smirked and stuck out my tongue getting a taste of the west coast snowflakes. I felt like a little kid catching the snowflakes on my tongue, but I could care less at the moment. My two favorite things finally combined again—Carlos and the snow. I had to say, even though it was not so great in the beginning, this had to be the best anniversary Carlos and I ever shared.

* * *

**A/N: So how did you guys like it? Please please please pleeeeaaaaaaaaasssseeeeee review! Peace, Love and Kogie(:**


	5. Haze

**A/N: OH MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY THAT I POSTED THIS SO LATE! Well, at least there's still about one hour and thirty minutes until midnight! lol I was super busy today and like Guhhhhh! So I wrote this in ten mintues. Well, the actual story portion took me like four minutes but I spent like six minutes trying to figure out an idea to use for haze. Gosh, that's such a stupid theme. _Haze_. Say it with me with simultaneous mock sarcasm on the count of three. One...two...three. _Haze_. So yep! I have to start working on the next chapter like right now because I'm going to Six Flags with my best friend/little sister tomorrow!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

We've been together for two years, but I was still in haze about why Carlos chose me. Sure, we had been best friends since we were practically in diapers, it helped that we shared a close brother-like relationship, but out of all the seven billion people in the world Carlos chose me.

What was there to love about me anyway? I was extremely skinny—basically all bones and no muscles. Literally, I looked anorexic even though I always ate like a pig. I had no muscle whatsoever. Even after thirteen years of hockey, I still managed to keep my awkward four year old biceps which of course meant nothing. Another thing was that I was too tall for him. I mean, I'm technically average height myself, but compared to Carlos, I was a giant! It was weird how he carried me around everywhere since I completely towered over his petite five foot five frame. Though I'd probably would never admit it out loud, I needed an eyebrow wax as much as a fish needs water. Seriously, they looked like two colossal caterpillars sprouting from my pale as a baby's ass forehead. Don't even get me started on my nose. Do you remember that one character from those Super Mario Brother's games—the emerald, flying dinosaur with the massive nose? Well, my nose is so gargantuan that it makes that nose look like an ant. It's just so gigantic and abnormally shaped, but Carlos still chose me.

One day, I just sat in my bedroom softly crying into my pillow case. I recall that I thought Carlos was just tricking me into believing that he loved me or just overall felt badly for me, but he thought otherwise. I'll never forget those wise, meaningful words he told me that autumn afternoon.

"Kendall, I love you because your unique and well, just because you're _you_. You've got a heart of gold—a perfect original. I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself for a while. Always remember that your perfect not only from your flawless looks but from what's under your skin—the beauty that shines _within_. No matter what happens in life, you'll be the only one who rocks my world because you're just so perfect. Sure you have flaws—everyone does, but your flaws make you flawless."

His words did have some truth behind them, but I was still ultimately confused. Why me? God created over seven billion people on Earth. He chose me. Stupid, flaw-filled, insecure me.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it was so short. I had no idea what to write for this chapter. ... ... ... SHE HAS NO IDEA, NO IDEA THAT I'M EVEN HERE! THAT I'M EVEN HERE! okay, I'm done. Please review? Maybe? Okay I'll just stop now! Peace, Love and Kogie my few readers!**


	6. Flame

**A/N: I don't like this drabbe/chappie thingy. Gosh, I had no idea what to write and it came out so horribly and bleeehhh. Kill me now. It's midnight now! hahhahahaa I'm so cool like that(; Now I don't have to worry about posting while I'm at Six Flags lol so yeah... Anyway I still hate this chappie. You probably will too so I apologize for that but I was Big Time Rush[ing] (HAHAHAHAHAHA MORE PUNS xD)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

You would've never thought that sweet, innocent, little Carlos had such a side to him that was full of rage. He barely showed it, but when he did, you'd better run for the hills because he was like a destructive force of negative energy when he was pissed off. The only time when Carlos got pissed off was when he felt as if someone was threatening me.

Back in Minnesota, I wasn't known as Mr. Popularity unlike Carlos. My only friends were Carlos, Logan, James and that insane, detrimental girl named Jenny Tinkler, so it really wasn't much of a surprise when I was the target of bullies. It wasn't until I turned fifteen when I hit my growth spurt which made it easier for the bullies to pummel me into the ground. It wasn't just physical abuse though. It had transformed into mental abuse by the time I hit middle school. That's the reason why I'm so insecure about myself now, because the bullies tricked me into thinking that I was worthless.

I remember that there was this one time during hockey practice. _Oh boy_. The coach was really impressed by my skills lately and had chosen to put me as one of the starting defenders in one of the most important as well as challenging game of the season. Unfortunately for me, those stupid bullies who were surprisingly also on the school hockey team did not get to start as usual. Those idiotic assholes then thought it would be funny to hurt me so badly that I'd be in too much pain to play, so they could start in the game. They kicked me in the stomach and the head of course with the sharp hockey skates on. At that rate, I couldn't even help but let salty tears of sorrow and despair seep from my lifeless green orbs.

Luckily, Carlos, my savior, had hear my cries and immediately approached the gang. There flame and fury in his eyes which clarified that he was utterly angry and meant business. He beat those imbeciles to a pulp. Blood covered the floor and bones were literally sticking out of their flesh. Though, Carlos did get suspended from that game and I was unable to start due to my injuries, I was still overjoyed. The word overjoyed couldn't even cover my happiness in pride. I felt so lucky to know that I had at least someone to protect me from the Earth's hostile wrath. I had Carlos. Carlos was the flame.

* * *

**A/N: This was another short drabble...I'm not used to writing such short chapters...as you can see if you have read "Because of the Poison Cupcakes" ;) Please review! I like when you guys review! A big shoutout to everyone who has! I'm too lazy to look at my comments but just know I'm really grateful that you took the time to comment on this faliure story challenge thing! lol yurp! So anyway, Peace, Love and Kogie! :)**


	7. Formal

**A/N: Sorry that this update was so late and is so short! I just came back from Six Flags and it's almost elevn thirty at night! I really had nothing to write for this theme so just enjoy the shit that this chapter is. Sorry it's so rushed**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Looking back at when I was younger, I always grimaced at the thought of dressing up in formal attire. Everything about it made me want to vomit from those stupid dress pants, to those irritating ties, to those hideous dress shoes. Honestly, I would be perfectly content just wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants, a graphic tee, and my favorite gray beanie. When I heard that we had to dress up for my older sister Kelsey's wedding rehearsal, I wasn't the least bit thrilled. Sure, I was excited that my sister was getting married, but I did not want to dress like some sophisticated butler. It was already bad enough that I had to wear a suit for the actual wedding. Did I really have to dress up for the rehearsal too? Carlos, of course, had different plans.

I recall pouting in my room as Carlos tried to coax me into wearing a suit. He didn't exactly like the idea of dressing up in formal attire either, but he was willing to deal with it if it got me into wearing one too.

"I mean why don't you want to wear a suit?" My taller Latino boyfriend inquired me curiously. "They make you look older."

"Because their just so... _uggh_...just so fancy and annoying! I mean, will I really be expected to sit around in a suit for like four hours?" I attempted to retaliate full aware that I possible just created the stupidest answer ever to a question like that.

"But, you'll look absolutely adorable!"

"Carlos, you say the same thing every time I wear my Buzz Light-year pajama pants. Why can't just wear those?"

"You're going to a wedding rehearsal, not a slumber party Ken."

"I might as well, the rehearsal is going to be so boring that I'll probably be asleep the whole time."

Carlos rolled his eyes at me and suddenly smiled that devious smirk of his. "You know why you should wear a suit Boo-Bear?" He questioned me in that sweet yet sexy voice of his.

Being the stubborn fourteen year old I was, I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. "Why, babe?"

"Because then you can pretend to be James Bond."

Giggling slightly, I just shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head in agreement. I really didn't want to wear a suit for the occasion, but Carlos knew how to make everything so damn exhilarating, "Are you saying that we're going to go to Kelsey's wedding rehearsal and stand in the corner doing a bunch of stunts and reenacting scenes?"

"You know me so well Boo-Bear."

"Then fine, I will dress up and play James Bond with you."

Little did I know that by going to the wedding rehearsal in formal attire, I would end up sharing my first kiss with my persuasive but loveable boyfriend.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah...this was one of my least favorite chapters to write. I just... Gah! It's just so stupid! Please enjoy my song...it has a very nice message to it.**

**Hey, I just updated**

**And you just read it**

**So just don't exit out**

**Please review maybe?**

**lol so yurrrppp! Please review! Sorry for this ultimately horrible chappie. Peace, Love, and Kogie(;**


	8. Companion

**A/N: I changed my mind...this is one of the worst chappies so far. Well, not as bad as "Haze" of course. I am dying it was so horrible. I had absolutely no idea what to write as you can tell. I'm excited because I'm halfway done with chapter nine of "Because of the Posion Cupcakes"! WOO HOO! ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN! Yuuuppppp! You should be expecting an update within a few days(; Anyway, I have to get back to writing so yeahhh...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Until I moved out to Los Angeles to start my music career with my best friends, Carlos, James, and Logan, I was known as the abnormal, midget loser. The teasing just didn't start in high school though. I had been emotionally and physically harassed since practically preschool.

Even at the age of three, kids still knew how to make their peers feel insecure. No one wanted to play with me because I was the freaky kid who wasn't potty-trained and still sucked his thumb. Since I was two, I only grew half an inch so I was the shortest in the class as well. At recess, I sat alone in the classroom while the other toddlers ran around the playground like maniacs. All I wanted was a friend to play with at school, but I was just the weirdo child. Sure, I had Carlos, but he was an entire grade ahead of me, so that didn't help very much.

I remember one day, I had literally come home crying my little eyes out due to the bullying. I couldn't take it anymore. What was so wrong with me? Why didn't anyone want to be my friend. Innocent, Carlos approached me that day and wrapped his baby-soft around my own, tinier, quivering one.

"Why you cwyin?" He questioned me naively while gently sitting me on his five year old lap.

"No one wikes me! I'm just a fweaky woser! You pwobably don'ts wants to be my fwiend no more!" I sobbed and buried my head into the crook of Carlos's neck.

"Kenny ," The slightly taller Latino sighed and stared into my emerald orbs in a serious manner. "Don't never say that 'bout yourself ever again! I wove being your fwiend. I'm not even your fwiend, I'm your big bwother! I'll always be there for you whenever you're alone. Just wook over your shoulder, well...wook into the cwasswoom acwoss the hall. You get the point. You're my bestest fwiend ever and my wittle bwother, and I wove you so much it huwts. It makes me wanna cwy, when you cwyin 'cause you don't deserve to be sad. You're so cute and loveable, and you don't deserved to be tweated wike a turd."

By this time Carlos himself had enormous crocodile tears of despair running down his face. It made my heart swell to know that I actually had one friend. Just one person who actually cared for me, excluding my family of course. Carlos wasn't just my friend, he was my older brother and my secret lover. He was my soul mate. He was my companion.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know...It was short and horrible. I'm sorry): Reviews? Please? I'd love to hear your comments! Big shoutout to Morte Giver! Thanks for all your sweet reviews for every single chapter! You really make me smile when you review. Anyway, Peace, Love, and Kogie! :D**


	9. Move

**A/N: Hey guys sorry I posted this so late. I got caught up in the fact that it'sCarlos's burfday and I almost forgot to to post. MY OLDEST BABY IS TWENTY THREE TODAY! I NEED A BOX OF TISSUES! Let's just all thank Mr and Mrs. Pena for having unprotected sex that one night. On Tuesday, August 15th, 1989, at 3:00 PM in Columbia, Missouri, a little baby boy was born. No one thought he'd make it big...but he did. God bless our baby...our Carlos Roberto Pena Jr. Okay so back to the story. I thought this was pretty cute and fluffy. I actually had a bit of fun writing it. GAH! Why did I even start this in the first place? I thought it would cure my writers block...I didn't! Anyway, I shall be updating "Because of the Posion Cupcakes" soon so check your alerts! I have to go and cry some more about how my baby is all grown up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I do own Orange Twist(:**

* * *

I always loved to sing. Whether I was skating on the ice, doing my homework, or during dinnertime. It was just a hobby I enjoyed. Even as a toddler, I was putting on mini concerts for my family. I used my older sister's hairbrush as my microphone and a laundry basket as a stage singing whatever shit that played on the Wiggles or Bear in the Big Blue House that morning. Though I absolutely loved to sing, I never thought I was actually _good_ at it. My thoughts were proven incorrect, when the giant turd producer, Gustavo Roque, asked me to come to Los Angeles with him to record some demos because apparently, I had the _fire_. Honestly, I didn't even know what that was supposed to mean. Before I even knew it, not only me but Carlos, Logan, and James were about to head out to California to record as a band.

I remember how our flight was scheduled to leave at four in the morning the next day. That night, Carlos had come over to pack with me. well technically to help me pack. The older Latino had been so eager to go to Los Angeles that he packed his bags in the morning unlike me who was procrastinating as always.

"You know I'm going to miss Minnesota a lot," Carlos admitted. "It was where we first met, where we shared our first kiss. I'm going to miss skating on the lake behind your house and running away with you in the middle of the night to our favorite frozen yogurt place."

"Carlos, stop it! You're going to make me c-cry." I attempted to interrupt him, but it was too late. Crocodile tears were already plummeting from my pallid, slightly freckled face. It's not that I didn't want to move to Los Angeles. It just felt like when I did, a part of my heart would break apart and shatter into little glass shards. Minnesota was my home. I lived there since the day I was born. The first thing I saw when I opened my spacious emerald orbs, was the Minnesota snow. This was the state where I learned how to skate, but more importantly met Carlos. every ounce of our friendship lied within those snowy, seven hundred sixty-seven miles I called my home. Whether it was a sweet memory or a spiteful one, it would still be forever treasured in my heart.

"Boo-Bear, please don't cry." The older boy pleaded as tears glistened in his own eyes. He had always hated when I cried. It made him feel like a horrible person.

"C-Carlos! I don't wanna leave M-Minnesota," I sobbed into his chest while balling the cottony material of his cobalt sweatshirt into my bony fists.

"Get, up. We're going for a walk."

"N-no."

"What?"

"C-carry me," I requested somberly. I was a blubbering, snotty mess and did not feel like walking somewhere at eleven at night.

Groaning, the older boy hoisted me up on his hip and silently carried me out the front door and into a illuminate store. Noticing the familiar smell of Carlos's and my favorite yogurt place, Orange Twist, I nuzzled my head into the crook of Carlos's slender neck. Great, _more_ memories. Practically every day we went there. We always got the same thing too; Carlos always got coconut yogurt with strawberries and white chocolate chips while my sweet tooth settled for birthday Cake with brownie bits and raspberries. We'd always end up eating each other's frozen yogurt though. I shivered when the harsh, Minnesota frost hit my face and pouted when I was being placed down on the floor by Carlos. Instantly, I recognized the area as the playground of the preschool Carlos and I use to attend a little bit more than ten years ago. It felt like it was just yesterday Carlos and I had been running across jungle gym with little scrapes covering our knees and arms.

"C-Carlos, why are we here?" I wondered curiously while trembling in the January wind. Curse you Carlos for not putting a heavier jacket on me before we came outside.

"You'll see," The Latino smirked while guiding me up the metal ladder and on top of the once ashen tunnel. Steadily, he sat me down and handed me my frozen yogurt. "I thought that we could have one last memory together in Minnesota before tomorrow."

Shyly, I placed my frozen yogurt on the ground and wrapped my arms around Carlos's neck, squishing our noses together into a sweet Eskimo kiss. "Why are you the sweetest boyfriend?"

"Because, I'm with you. How could I not try to act sweet around the sexiest yet most adorable guy in the universe."

Smiling slightly, I pressed my baby-soft, pouty lips against his and closed my eyes. It was then that I realized that even though I was moving to Los Angeles, I wasn't completely letting go of my home. I still had Carlos. He circulated around every memory I had here. Carlos was my home.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I didn't like the ending too much. Anyway, please review! ANOTHER GARGANTUAN SHOUOUT TO _Morte Giver_. I love your reviews. Peace, Love and Kogie! (:**


	10. Silver

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is so late. I was celebrating Carlos's burfday with my friend Sarah ( _KendallhasSwag_ on twitter) lol we had taco's and we made brownies to celebrate. Yeeeppp! I don't like this chapter either. It's mainly pointless dialogue and I was rushing since it's technically midnight and all. Yurrrrppp!**

**Disclaimer: I do not Big Time Rush or Chez Fancee**

* * *

Though Carlos's and my relationship was overflowing with blissful, cloud nine memories, there was one recollection that had always stood out to me. I remember one day, Carlos had literally forced me into a tux and took me out on a romantic dinner date at Chez Fancee.

"Okay, what's the occasion?" I had inquired the older Latino curiously with innocent, spacious emerald orbs while skimming through the expensive menu.

"What? I can't take my overly adorable and sexy boyfriend out for a special evening? Come on Boo-Bear. You've been working your ass off all week in school and work. You need to have a little bit of chill time with your favorite boyfriend."

"Carlos you were my only boyfriend."

Smiling shyly and blushing, I shrugged my shoulders and went back to viewing the menu. It was true; I did really need to relax and spend some quality time with my Carlos. That was the problem with being the leader; you had to be so responsible of taking care of everything that you had to miss spending some time with your loved ones.

"Errm...I have to g-go to the b-b-bathroom..." Carlos stammered nervously as his chubby cheeks turned a deep, rosy red.

"Going to powder your nose huh?" I smirked and sipped the lemon hinted water the waiter had brought over to us.

"Shut up Knight! You're the girl in the relationship," The slightly shorter boy snapped playfully while heading off towards the '_bathroom_' when really he was going up to the front desk of the restaurant to ask the waiter to hide the silver rings he had bought us in a champagne glass.

"Umm...excuse me sir?" Sheepishly, Carlos swayed back and forth on his heels and awkwardly rubbed the back of his slender, tanned neck.

"Yes monsieur?" The worker questioned in his rich, French accent.

"Do you mind hiding these promise rings for me and bringing it to our table when I give you the signal?"

"Do you want me to put champagne in the glass?"

"We're only sixteen. Um...do you mine putting it in a wine glass full of pink lemonade?

"_Pink _lemonade?"

"Please? This is really special."

"Of course, monsieur. I'll have it ready momentarily. Just give me the signal."

Nodding with satisfaction, Carlos strolled back to our table for two and sipped his own water casually.

"You know I love you a lot, _right_?" He asked me suddenly.

"Of course babe! You're my everything. I want to be with you forever. Even when we die, I'm going to find you in Heaven and stick by your side."

Awkwardly snapping his fingers at the waiters at the front desk, Carlos showed off an illuminate, toothy grin looked at the menu.

"Pink lemonade, monsieurs? On the house."

"Thank you sir," Carlos winked at the waiters and handed me a champagne glass filled with the sugary yet tart liquid.

"Ewww! Carlos, there's something in my drink," I sighed and took the mystery object out of my drink and gasped with shock and delight when I observed my findings. "A p-promise ring."

"I thought that since we are a bit too young to get engaged that we could wear this rings as a promise that we'll never let our relationship break apart. It cost me a fortune, and it's made of real silver, but it was so worth it. You make everything worth it Kendall."

Tears welled up in my emerald eyes as I slipped the ring on my finger. The moment I glanced at the silvery object linked around my bony finger, my smile literally reached my eyes. Carlos really did want to spend the rest of his life with me, and I knew that with Carlos as a boyfriend, that statement would be true.

* * *

**A/N: How was it? Okay I know it was horrible! I didn't know what to write at all! Please review! Once again, sending all my love to _Morte Giver_ who has reviewed every single chapter. Anyway, Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	11. Prepared

**A/N: YAY! So here's chapter eleven! Only 19 more days of this horrible torture. I don't even know why I started this. Anyway, this chapter is ultimately terrible. I didn't want to write smut so this as close as you get to smut. I'm just so horrible at writing it, it's not even funny. Oh well! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

There comes a time in very relationship where you decide to express your love for each other in more heated and intimate ways. Looking back on it, I literally laugh every time I think about when me and Carlos wanted to have sex for the first the time. We were only sixteen at the time. The question he popped was so simple and casual.

"Kendall, I want to have sex with you."

The answer I gave him was a big, fat no. Honestly, I was scared shitless. I was young and absolutely wasn't ready to give up my virginity and innocence, even to the man I had always promised I'd give it up to. That day, I recall crying in the corner for an hour while Carlos sat me on his lap and comforted me. I wasn't crying but I was afraid of sex though; I was crying because I was afraid of losing Carlos. He was ready to take it to the next level, and I was basically refusing it. Carlos probably thought that I didn't love him enough to give up my innocence to him. What if Carlos decided to leave me and date another man? My mind created horrible scenarios as I sat alone in the seclusion of the petite corner between the wall and my desk. Swiftly, I got up and marched over to Carlos shyly in my oversized sweatpants and hockey sweatshirt.

"C-Carlos?" I wanted to curse at myself right there and then for sounding so vulnerable. Curse you Carlos. "I think I'm ready to have s-sex."

He looked at me with wide eyes and chuckled a bit.

"What?" I innocently cocked my head to the side and looked into his eyes confused.

"First you were crying about the thought of having sex and now you want to have it? Are you on your period or something?"

"For the last time Carlos, I am not a girl, and I was afraid that I was going to lose you." I muttered the last part barely audibly but Carlos had managed to hear it perfectly.

"Awwh Boo-Bear," The older boy pulled me into his into his lap and pecked my pouty, pinkish lips gently. "You're not going to lose me. Boo-Bear, you're the only person I've truly ever loved with all my heart, well besides my parents and the other guys, but still. Kendall I'd never let you go just because of sex. You mean the world to me. Besides, I totally understand if you're not ready. I love you so much, and I'll always will no matter what we decide to do."

"I love you too Carlos, but I truthfully think I'm ready."

"Well, if you say so," The Latino shrugged his shoulders and literally carried me piggy back to our shared bedroom.

I was actually telling the truth this time. Carlos was my boyfriend, and it was definitely time to express our love for each other in different yet painful ways. I was fully prepared.

* * *

**A/N: How did my one reader enjoy it? Was it good? Nahhhh it probably wasn't. I'm not in a very optimistic mood right now. Please review. Peace, love, and Kogie! :D**


	12. Knowledge

**A/N: GAHHHHH! I CAN'T EVEN WITH THIS DAMN STORY ANYMORE LIKE SERIOUSLY NO JUST NO! I HATE WRITING EVERY SINGLE ONE SHOT FOR THIS STUPID DRABBLE...well execpt for the rreally super cute ones BUT GAH! WHY THE HELL DID I SIGN MYSELF UP FOR THIS SHIT! Okay, ranting put aside. I'm not a happy camper. I had no idea (she has no idea, no idea that I'm even here) what to write for this stupid chapter! I mean, honeslt, what the Hell are you supposed to write for Knowledge. If there was knowledge in a relationship, every couple would still be virgins. Just saying. And then I was pissed cuz I lost my earring! Gah. Just don't even read this chapter. I beg of you. Out of everything I had ever written in life. This is by the far the worst thing I ever wrote.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Carlos was not the _brightest_ person you'd ever meet yet he was so much smarter than me in many ways.

For one thing, he was really good at hockey—even better than me! He knew how to strategize everyone's positions really well. Carlos also knew secret moves and tricks to help keep the other players away and the puck near us. Because of him, our team was undefeatable, well except for that one time when Carlos and I got ejected for 'unsportsmanship' like mooning. Stupid, coaches and referees.

Another thing Carlos was smarter than me in was the topic of food. That boy ate practically everything in sight and yet he was still barely even one hundred and thirty pounds. That boy knows all of the best brands of corndogs and flavors of pie in the country. It's insane, but he does pick out the best restaurants to take me out to dinner too.

The thing that Carlos had the most knowledge in is how to make people smile. This truly sucks in my case since I'm supposedly the unofficial official leader of our little foursome. He's always so goofy and tells the world's funnies jokes. Even when I'm in the most depressed moods, he can always make my smile reach my eyes. Everything he does makes me explode with giggles.

You know, I could probably write a book filled with infinity pages on why Carlos is so smart. Gosh, where would I be without Carlos in my life? More importantly, where would Carlos be without his knowledge for the stupidest yet most significant thing?

* * *

**A/N: Yesh, this was horrible. Morte Giver, please yell at me in your review! Peace, Love, and Kogie! :/**


	13. Denial

**A/N: Sorry this is so late. I had a full day of fangirling! For once, I don't think the update is _completely_ terrible. It still sucks but it's better than yesterday's update for sure! OMG NOW I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY! Okay so today I saw Big Time Rush in concert practically VIP. First of all, Kendal and Carlos blew me kisses. Okay strike one to death. Then, James pointed at me, Kendall and I made eye contact from approximately three feet away (his eyes are fucking flawless by the way xD) and I almost got to touch Logan's sexy as hell biceps. Strike two. THEN OF COURSE CARLOS FUCKING ROBERTO PENA JR. JUST HAD TO WALK RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND HOLD MY HAND FOR 30 SECONDS. Guys, I have officially died and went to Big Time Rush. The gys even said it themselves, _loudest and most amazing concert all tour_. Rusher pride baby. Yurrrrrppp so that was my fun day. Anyway enjoy this horrible update. Big thanks to my reviewers! I love yew guyzzzzz!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush... or the Nile river! :P**

* * *

Out of every single person in the universe that I could possibly make the future Mr. or Mrs. Knight, my heart chose the short, muscular, gorgeous Latino named Carlos Roberto Garcia. I've been in love with him for as long as I could remember, but I've always been too scared to actually admit it to his face.

It started off with the simple hugging and hand holding when we were toddlers but as the hormones raged in my body a decade later, it had become so much more. Every time Carlos and I shared a simple glance, every time he said my name, every time he was standing less than thirty feet away from me, my usually pale, slightly freckled cheeks heated up into a rosy blush. Even the fans started to notice the small, romantic moments Carlos and I shared even though we had yet to be in a romantic relationship at that point. They 'shipped' us together. I don't even know what the hell shipping actually is! Apparently, our shipping name is _Kenlos_. At every meet and great, album signing, interview, and sound check, Rushers _always _asked us if I had a crush on Carlos. Of course, I told them no, but my heart was pleading to let the truth come out. I wanted Carlos to be mine but, I was too scared and in denial to speak from my Carlos yearning heart. It had come to the point where even James and Logan were starting to catch on.

"Kenny," James had skipped into the living room of our high-tech apartment with a goofy smirk tattooed onto his tan face. "We know your _secret_."

"My..._secret_?"

"Well, you made it so obvious for us to figure it out Kenny." Logan chuckled while staring at the confused blonde.

"Wait, are you talking about how I snuck a brownie into my room last night without telling my mom? YOU CAN'T TELL..."

"No Kendall! We're talking about your other, more significant secret," The shortest brunette looked at me and tried to stifle his laughs.

"What secret?!" I demanded even though I sort of had a feeling what they were talking about.

"We know," James inched closer to my ear and wrapped his arms around my slightly quivering shoulders. "That you have a crush on Carlos."

"Pssh! What no! Carlos is my older brother and best friend. I don't like him like that. Never, _no _way." I snapped rather quickly and loudly.

"Denial isn't just a river in China, Kenny."

"James, the Nile river is in Egypt. See, this is why you should've been paying attention instead of combing your hair during sixth grade geography," Logan pointed out and then went back to staring at me.

"Guys, seriously, I don't have a crush on Carlos. It's just innocent bromance and nothing more. I'm going to go take a shower now. Don't follow me." _That_ was a close one.

I absolutely wasn't ready to confess the truth. The thing I was most worried about was Carlos's reaction. Would he slap me, make fun of me, or demolish our friendship and brotherhood ultimately. This was all too much emotional stress for my brain to handle. As much as I loved Carlos, I just had to continue being in denial. Just for a little while longer. Maybe more.

* * *

**A/N: GUYS I'M STILL FREAKING OUT! KILL ME! So how was it? Review please? Peace, love, and Kogie(:**


	14. Wind

**A/N: YAY! IT'S UPDATE TIME! So this isn't _as_ horrible as I thought it would turn out...It's still bad but whatever. This really doesn't even match the theme correctly but whatever! It's actually like 12:44 in the morning right now...oh well! I was trying to write a new Kogie oneshot all day. So far...I have one paragraph! WOAHHHH DERE! I SEE THE PROGRESS RATINGS FLYING OFF OF THE CHARTS! Yurrp! I'm so cool like that. So I just realized that it's been exactly two weeks since I signed myself up for this horrible 30 days drabble challange which means...ONLY 16 MORE DAYS TO GO! My excitment is raging here! OMG BIG TIME RUSH IS PERFORMING AT THE WHITE HOUSE TOMORROW! LET'S JUST ALL DIE TOGETHER! MY EMOTIONS ARE LIKE ASDFGHJKL;!By the way, thank you so much for all of the reviews and alerts! You guys are the reason why i haven't given up on this death challenge (as I like to call it) yet so thank you so much.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Salty, warm, crocodile tears cascaded down my face as the crisp, autumn air slapped against my pale, freckled face like a harsh hand. I buried my head into my bony, skinny jean clad legs as I arched my back up against a tree trunk that showered me with leaves of vivid colors. Minute sobs escaped my pinkish, pouty lips as I thought about _him_. _He_ was the one causing me so much pain. Swiftly, I banged my head onto the rigid, unforgiving tree bark hoping that it would make a gash into my head. I just wanted all the blood to carry all of my emotions out of me and send me to the Hell I assumed that I was already in. All, I wanted was to be dead at the moment. This was all because of a _stupid_ fight—_Carlos's and my_ stupid fight.

Honestly, I didn't even know why Carlos was in such an irritated mood that day. Even after I made his favorite helmet shaped, chocolate chip pancakes, showered him with hugs and kisses, and even polished his stupid helmet, but he still seemed to be pissed off about something.

I remember that I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck and glanced at him worriedly yet shyly. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," The slightly smaller boy grumbled back.

Apprehensively, I bit my lip down and rested my head in the crook of Carlos's neck. Carlos was never the person to bottle up his emotions. God, how I hoped I wasn't my fault. "Babe, please talk to me. Did I do something wrong?"

"You know what Kendall," Finally, Carlos snapped back at me making me gasp. Carlos never called me by my full name. I was either, Kenny, Boo-Bear, or Pooky—_never_ Kendall. "You did do something wrong. I got our math test results back today, and I got a freaking _C minus_! Do you want to know why I got that C minus, Kendall?"

I really didn't want to know, but I knew it was coming anyway.

"I got a C minus because of you and your stupid horny antics? You couldn't just keep it in your pants for one fucking night, Kendall? Of course I just had to say yes, to your childish, demanding attitude. Because of you, my average just dropped to a B! You know, I was trying to get all A's this semester but, you and your horny, demanding, obnoxious self just had to screw everything up! God, you're such a fucking whore Kendall! I hate you!"

Those last, nine words that Carlos spoke continuously replayed in my ear like a broken record. Out of all of the people in the world who could've said that to me, it just _had_ to be Carlos. He was the first and only boy that owned my since I was merely one years old. Suddenly, a melodious voice snapped me out of my somber thoughts and pulled me back into an even more melancholy reality. Immediately, I recognized that voice to be Carlos's. _Great_, was he back to stab my heart even more?

"Hey," He spoke quietly and nervously. I could hint the tears in his voice as he stared down at the kelly-green grass. "Boo-Bear, I'm really sorry about our fight. I should've been more considerate towards your feelings and definitely shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"You're s-sorry?" My tear-filled, spacious, innocent orbs stared into his chocolate brown ones with despair. "Do you know how much it hurt me when you called me a whore? I've been bullied since the day I started preschool; fuck, I still do! My life I felt like an unwanted screw-up, but I confided in you Carlos. You were my emotional and physical medicine. It truly hurts to know that even the one I gave my heart to, decided to abuse it. Do you even love me anymore, Carlos?"

That was it. By now, Carlos was in tears himself as he sat down on the floor next to me. "B-Boo-Bear! I d-d-do love y-you—more than you'll ever r-realize. I j-just let my frustration take control of my true f-feelings. I don't think you're a whore K-Kendall. You're one of the most sweetest, innocent little things I've ever met, and I can't bear to lose the love of my life for an e-eternity. P-please forgive me K-Kendall. I'm so s-s-sorry!"

When my brain distinguished the words that tumbled out of my lover's mouth, I jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately on the lips. It didn't matter how many times we fought or what about, he'd always be _my_ Carlos no matter what. Slightly smiling through his tears of apology, Carlos scooped me up into the air and spun me around as the wind created an encirclement of leaves around us. I couldn't help but realize that the wind was telling me something—like a secret. For a moment I listened closer and realized that the wind was telling me, that just like the leaves, I had to forget about my troubles and move on. That's exactly what I did. Even through all of our petty, insignificant battles, nothing would ever break the bond we shared.

* * *

**A/N: Yeahhh...it wasn't _so_ great. Please review, alert? Well anyway, goodmorning and Peace, Love, and Kogie(:**


	15. Order

**A/N: Hey guys. I'm not really happy with this chapter. I didn't know what to write and I have a very stiff back right now and I can barely even type so yeahhh...**

* * *

Carlos Garcia was full of many quirks an obsessions, but what you might not know is his major obsessive compulsive disorder. Yes, _the_ Carlos Roberto Garcia is the biggest neat freak you'll possibly ever meet in your life.

I remember this one day when he was sixteen and I was fifteen where I did something that really ticked Carlos off.

"Carly, Carly, Carly, Carly!" I chanted giddily with skipping into our shared room with a goofy grin plastered onto my face. At the time, Carlos and I were gripped on the video game New Super Mario Bros, and I had finally beaten the game after three months of trying.

"Yes, Boo-Bear?" He replied while practically giggling at my exhilaration.

"I beat the game! I beat the game! I beat the ga...," Before I could even finish my sentence, I had knocked Carlos's crayon box off of his desk. That was _my _problem; I was _extremely_ clumsy. "Woopsie Daisey! Sorry, Carlos. I'll clean it up now."

"No, no, no," Unexpectedly Carlos scolded me.

"What?"

"You just can't put the colors randomly together! You have to sort them by color. All the blues have to with the blues, all the greens have to go with the greens..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it Carlos," Eventually, I grumbled while putting the crayons back in the order that Carlos wanted them. This was going to take me and eternity.

There was also the time when I was two and he was three. Carlos had been over my house for the millionth time, but instead of playing with me, all he could do was criticize my room.

"Kendaww! You hafta put your toys in the toy box neatly, fwom biggest to tiniest! Why awe your cwothes on the fwoor! They should be folded in your drawer! Bad Kenny!"

I just sat on the floor with my thumb hooked in my mouth. Even as a toddler, Carlos was a neat freak. Even though his OCD gets on my nerves sometimes, it'll just be another aspect of Carlos that makes me love him the way that I do.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know it was extremely horrible. Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	16. Thanks

**A/N: Well this chapter is really sad yet cute and happy at the same time. I admit, I sorta cried while writing this. I actually had lots of trouble coming up with something for thanks and then this idea popped into my head! Well yurp! Hope you enjoy it! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. My back still hurts and it's hard to type. By the way. Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts! It means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, Miss Collins, or the Palm Woods**

* * *

I bit my lip down nervously as looked at the gigantic audience in front of me. My pale hands trembled as my emerald orbs gazed upon the shiny black graduation gown covering my skinny anatomy. Gosh, I can't believe that I was finally graduating high school.

"Now, may I welcome to the stage, our senior class president, varsity hockey captain, and the youngest member of the band Big Time Rush, Kendall Knight." Miss Collins announced making the crowd erupt into applause.

Closing my eyes for a brief second I sighed. Instead of the usually darkness, all I could see was memories of Carlos and me flash through my brain at the speed of light. Gradually, I took a deep breath and headed my way onto the stage.

"Fellow seniors of the Palm Woods school, today is the day where our lives out in the real world begin. This is the chance where we can take our careers into new heights. Whether your acting, singing, or dancing, today is the day to really start the engine and head into your own direction. Now, I know all of us wouldn't be where we are today without the love and support from the ones who care about this the most. Mom, dad, thank you for always pushing me to try new things and to work at the best of my ability. You've always supported me through all the ups and downs and shaped me into the person I am today. Kelsey, I know I was just the pesky little brother who climbed in your bed when I had nightmares and tried to sabotage all of your dates, but you're the one who got me into music in the first place. You inspired me to play the guitar and even sing. Look at me now. Without you, I wouldn't be able to have such great experiences like the one I'm having now. Katie, you're my first and only younger sibling. Even through my darkest hours you always knew how to put a smile on my face with your devious antics. Logan, James, thank you so much for being my only friends. We shared some pretty good times since that day we met."

The lights of cameras and crocodile tears blurred my vision as I gulped down a sob.

"Last, but not least. I want to thank my boyfriend, best friend, and older brother Carlos Garcia. Carlos, wow, what can I say? You've just done so much for me that I'm speechless. Thank you for all of the times you comforted me and protected me from the bullies. You made me feel wanted, like I was actually important. Thank you for teaching me how to play hockey and encouraging me to sign up for the pee wee team when we were toddlers. You showed me a new passion that I never would've found without you. Thank you for always making my smile literally reach my eyes. It was mostly your sweetness and randomness that kept me lively and optimistic. Thank you so much just for being there for me when I needed it the most. I know I've always acted so strong and fearless, but the truth is that I'm so happy to have someone like you to fall back on. I need someone like you to fall back on. You're my rock Carlos. I don't know if you already know what I'm about to tell you but I'm going to say it anyway. You know how I say that I've always loved you? Well, when I say that, I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart. Since, I was thirteen months, too innocent and young to even understand what love really was, my heart settled for you and no other. The moment I met you, I knew that one day we were going to be together. You're not just my boyfriend, my best friend, and my older brother; you're my soul mate. You're _my_ Carlos. Without you I'd be nothing and I mean that. Anyway, good luck seniors! I hope you all have triumphant futures."

After the graduation ceremony, I had jumped into Carlos's arms and buried my head in the crook of his neck. I was going to miss being the ignorant, naive, child who always had Carlos to love and protect me from everything, but I knew in my heart that as we elevated into adulthood, many more great experiences would come our way as a couple. I felt tears plummeting from Carlos's tan face onto my graduation gown as he spun me around in circles.

"Y-You're welcome, Boo-Bear.

* * *

**A/N: Awwwhhh! Is anyone crying? If you aren't you get free gummy bears! Gahhh! I'm dead inside! Please review? Pretty Please? Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	17. Look

**A/N: Gahhhh! I didn't like this theme! It was way too irritating to write! So that's the reason why this drabble is so short. Whatever! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I didn't bother to proofread this because I'm practically rushing to post this. As you can see, it is about 9 minutes after 12 so yeah...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or the Tornado**

* * *

I'm not the type of person who easily persuaded, but there is one look that can talk me into doing anything no matter how stupid. That one thing was Carlos's stupid puppy dog face. I know it sounds stupid but I can't resist the way his beautiful, chocolate, doe-like orbs grow impossible even more innocent and spacious, the way his chubby, apple cheeks slightly puff up with air, and the way his bottom lip juts out into an adorable pout. Saying no to that face was like saying no to a puppy. That's because that face looked like it belonged to a petite puppy's.

I recall this one time when I was four and he was five. Mrs. Garcia had taken us to the local water park and Carlos had managed to drag me on almost every water slide, except for the Tornado. It was the fastest, scariest slide in the whole park.

"Pooky! Pwease go n the Tornado with me! Pwetty pwease?" Carlos had begged as I crossed my floatie clad arms and shyly dug my little toe, into the cemented walkway to the deathtrap known as the Tornado. I was extremely afraid of heights at the time and couldn't swim, so I was completely reluctant to agree.

"Nuh uh, Carwos! It too scawy!" I protested sensibly and huffed. There was no way I was going on that slide.

"Pwetty Pwease Pooky?"

"Nuh uh!"

"Pwease?" He inquired me once again while using the famous Carlos Garcia puppy dog pout.

"Fine," Eventually, I caved unable to resist that cute yet curse-worthy look Carlos had given me.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't defy that stupid look Carlos gave me when he wanted something. Every time he shot that pout at me, I became putty in his hands and practically catered to his every whim. One look, one single glance and my heart bubbled into a puddle of fluff and cuteness. Stupid Carlos and your stupid puppy dog face. I swear, one day, it'll be the death of me.

* * *

**A/N: Bleh it was horrible...I know. Review please? Maybe? I'm giving you the Carlos face now! Peace, love and Kogie!**


	18. Summer

**A/N: Yeah, this was really awkward to write. Guess what? I have writers block again..and my stomach hurts! Of course, this always happens! NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UPDATE NEW STORIES :O EVIL WORLD! Yurrrp! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I was rushing because I was in pain.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or S'mores**

* * *

I was never a big fan of the summer. Sure, we had a break from school, but summer meant no hockey on the colossal lake behind my house. Though, of course, Carlos just found a way to make it so darn fun. When he was seventeen and I was sixteen, Carlos had dragged me, as well as James, and Logan into camping up in the mountains. At first, I was extremely reluctant. What if we got mauled by bears, or got bit my a poisonous snake? What if it started raining? Of course, I just sucked it up and went along with the plan like a good boyfriend should. Carlos seemed so ecstatic about the whole idea and I didn't want to ruin his plans. So, that's how the Big Time Rush clan was dragged out into the wilderness that muggy, scorching, California, summer day.

"Okay, first we need to set up the tent." Carlos proclaimed while staring at the yellow item packed in a box. "Boo-Bear, do you want to help me?"

"Uhhm...sure..." I trailed off nervously. Count on my clumsy ways and me to always screw something. Slowly I tried putting the tent together only to fall on top of it and cause it to rip in half. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked down on the dirt covered ground ashamed. "S-sorry."

"Hey, it's okay Boo-Bear. We can sleep out under the stars."

That's exactly what we were about to do, until I realized that I forgot to bring my sleeping bag.

"Carlos," Apprehensively, I whispered while digging my Vans covered foot into the dry, worm filled soil. "I sort of left my sleeping bag at home."

Smirking, Carlos just picked me up bridal style and sat me gently on his sleeping bag. "Here, now we can keep each other warm.

Instantly, my heart fluttered out of my chest. We'd barely been together for a month, and I still couldn't get used to the fact that we were dating. "Uhhm...k-kay."

Gradually, I climbed in the sleeping back with Carlos and lay my head down in his muscular chest. My mouth chomped on the last of our S'mores from dessert as a faint yawn escaped my lips.

"Hey, you got a little something on your lips?"

"What? Where!"

"Right here," Carlos said as we inched his face closer to me, pressing his lips firmly onto my own. His tongue unexpectedly made its way into my mouth, licking the marsh-mellow and chocolate coated surface and massaging my moist tongue. I just sat back and enjoyed my submissiveness while quietly moaning with exhilaration.

This was definitely the best summer ever, but only because I had Carlos to make it a million times better.

* * *

**A/N: Yurrrrpp this was truly awful! Anyway, please review and alert and stuff. Peace, Love, and Kogie! :D**


	19. Transformation

**A/N:Hey friends... well this chapter wasn't as terrible as yesterdays...but I still don't like it! It's kind of funny at the end though. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, Florida, or Aeropostale**

* * *

_Puberty_. That one word has the strength to make every adolescent cringe with disgust. Sometimes, it brought exciting things like muscles, tallness or a deeper voice, and sometimes and brought negativity which can go unannounced. I remember when Carlos hit puberty.

It was the autumn when Carlos was going to start high school. He had went on vacation to Florida three before school started to visit some family. All I expected from Carlos when he came back was maybe a deeper tan, but I got so much more than I thought I would.

"Hey Pooky," Carlos smiled his flawless, whitened, cheesecake smile and engulfed me into a warm embrace. The smell of Aeropostale cologne scampered in and out of my nose as I rested my head in his well, built, extremely muscular arms. His eight pack pressed against my flat, undeveloped, childlike stomach. I arched my neck upwards and glanced into his chocolate brown orbs that seemed to be miles above mine. I probably looked like a five year old next to him. Damn, this transformation hit Carlos quickly and well! If it was even possible at this point, I felt as though my crush for him just maximized to the top level when I saw the outcomes of puberty. He was practically a Greek God before, but _now_, words can't even describe him because he was _that_ perfect. Before, I could even control my exhilaration and emotions, I let out a soft moan.

"Did you just moan," He chuckled in his new, husky voice as his grip on my lessened.

"What. Errm no," I attempted to cover up but it was too late. Fuck my stupid teenage hormones.

"You _totally_ just moaned, Pooky!"

"F-fine, I m-moaned because I'm having p-painful stomach cramps."

"Stomach Cramps? Oh gosh, you're not turning into a girl are you? I swear if you got your period..."

"C-Carlos, I'm not getting my period. I'm just...uhhm...really sick," I even threw in a counterfeit cough to really sell the act.

"Awwh, my poor baby brother. Do you want me to carry you to your bed?"

I just nodded my head vigorously as my body yearned to be pressed against Carlos's manly structure. Thank the lord for puberty.

* * *

**A/N: So how was it? Review pretty please with a cherry on top? Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	20. Tremble

**A/N: GAHHH! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A DIRTY FREAK AFTER WRITING THIS! IT WAS TOO MUCH SMUT FOR MY LIKING! Anyway, sorry it's so short. I'm having a migraine and the light from my laptop is killing me! Thanks to _Morte Giver_ for reviewing(: Sorry for any grammar mistakes! If I were you, I'd shield your eyes from this dirty Kenlos smut!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Loud moans escaped my pinkish, pouty lips as Carlos swirled his tongue around the strawberry flavored surface of my mouth, massaging the inside of my cheekbones gently. His rock hard abs pressed against my purple, bruise covered stomach as his hand gradually made its way to my belt. His, tanned muscular fingers played around with the buckle until the leather object was undone and ripped off of my black, skinny jeans exposing a sample of my plaid boxers. His soft lips brush up on top of my own as his hands slowly worked in different directions, The right one twirled my golden, pin-straight locks around his fingers while the left one leisurely inched its way into my boxers. I panted and bucked my hips as I felt Carlos near my throbbing member. He just kept teasing me as he tugged at the hem of my boxers. I couldn't help but tremble when I felt my pants being ripped off.

"Are you cold Boo-Bear? We can stop if you want." Carlos asked me when he felt my slightly taller yet skinner anatomy tremble under his.

"No, no I'm fine," I panted and pulled the older Latino closer to me. "Just get the damn thing out of your pants already."

I trembled again as Carlos tugged at his own boxers and exposed his equally hard member which I knew was about to go on a journey to find my sweet spot. I loved the feeling of being submissive and having to sit back and enjoy the ride for a change.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah...this was so disgusting. I'm gonna go stick some soap in my mouth now. Please review? Pleeeaaassseee? I beg of you! Peace, Love, and Kogie(:**


	21. Sunset

**A/N: Well, this was really difficult to write. Mostly, because of my intense migraine but also because of the fact that I'm running out of ideas. Remind me to never do this EVER again! I sort of feel like the themes are repeating themselves too. Uggh but whatever!**

**Dislaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, Windows Down, or Hawaii**

* * *

Some of the things I remember most of Carlos's and my relationship were the little, activities we did together. I can recall one day when Carlos and I decided to ride bikes on the Hawaiian island. Gustavo had shipped us there to film the music video for our new single _Windows Down_, and we were enjoying every second of it. The crisp, spring wind used it's gentle hands to make a disheveled mess of my strawberry-blonde hair as the ashen sand clung to our salt water soaked legs.

"Oh Boo-Bear, look! The sun is setting!" Carlos exclaimed with his mouth agape. He leaned forward on his bike and looked further into the horizon.

"Wow, the sky looks so beautiful," I replied in awe as I glanced up at the marvelous pink, purple, red, and orange streaks painting a picture across the evening sky.

Smirking, Carlos hopped off of his bike and scooped me up bridal style into his arms. Carefully, he carried me down to the edge of the water and stood me up on my feet. Carlos intertwined our fingers as he saw the graceful dolphins dancing in the vivid sky.

"You know what really makes this moment even more beautiful, Boo-Bear?" Carlos inquired me suddenly while spinning me around in a circle.

"What?"

"Spending it with you," He answered in his sugar-coated voice as the sun began to seep below the horizon.

This definitely had to be one of the most romantic and beautiful moments, Carlos and I had ever shared. Ever since then, we had a new hobby—watching the sunset together.

* * *

**A/N: UGGHHH! I REALLY HATED THIS! ASDFGHJKL! Just please don't even bother reviewing this chappie -_- Peace, Love, and Kogie! :D**


	22. Mad

**A/N: GAH! So I really don't have time to write an author's note because my dad is yelling at me to get off the computer and go to sleep! UGGGHH! I had to post this though! Sorry for any grammar mistakes and horrible quality. I was rushing!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

I had a fetish. It was more of a _tiny_ obsession, but it was still a fetish, and that fetish was making Carlos mad. Every time Carlos got furious he always made this adorable face. The way head cocked twenty-five degrees to the right, his bottom lip jutted out and quivered with rage, and his cute, button nose twitched like a baby bunny's made me want to squeal because it was so adorable. Plus, it was just kind of funny to see him angry. I always tried to act innocent and pretend that I didn't do anything wrong, but he never bought that cute, little act I put on.

There was this time when I was three and he was about to turn five. It all started around lunchtime. We were eating dinosaur chicken nuggets in the Garcia kitchen. . My little, toddler mind thought it would be funny to imitate Carlos, so I did. Boy, did he get pissed!

"OWIE! I THINK I BURNED MY TONGUE!" Carlos screamed as he bit into the chicken nugget a little too quickly.

"OWIE! I FINK I BUWNED MY TONGUE!" I attempted to mock Carlos's pain as I grabbed my tongue in counterfeit anguish just as he did.

"Huh?" The taller Latino questioned me obviously confused.

"Huh?"

"Pooky, are you copying me?"

"Pooky, awe you copying me?"

"Stop it!"

"Stop it!"

"Pooky!"

"Pooky!"

"I gotta go pee!" Carlos shouted as a desperate plea to escape my innocent yet devious plot.

"I gotta go pee!" Smugly, I replied while following Carlos into the mini, half bathroom.

"Pooky, go away! I need to pee!"

"Pooky, go away! I needa pee!"

By this point, Carlos was extremely aggravated. His petite, chubby finger while tugging at his hair and he was making '_the face_'. "MOMMY!"

"MWOMMY!"

"Yes, sweetheart?" Sylvia inquired her son curiously as she entered the bathroom. "Wait, what did I tell you boys about playing in the bathroom?"

"Mommy, Kendall keeps copying me!"

"Mwommy, Kendaww keeps copying me!"

"Awwh, that's too precious," The older woman cooed while scooping me up into her arms and kissing my forehead. "Don't get mad Carlos, he just looks up to you and wants to be like you. Don't worry; he'll tire himself out soon enough." Sylvia left the room leaving a very distressed Carlos and a very giggly me.

"I need aspirin."

"I need aspwin."

"Gah!"

"Gah!"

There was another time when he was seventeen and I was sixteen. Once again, Carlos had managed to lose his beloved helmet, but this time I actually knew where it was. I didn't tell him though because I wanted to see how angry he'd get after his journey of searching for it.

"Oh my gosh my helmet is gone! Boo-Bear help me find it."

"Sure, Carlos," I replied while helping Carlos search for his prized possession.

He searched for two hours and still couldn't find it.

"That's it! I'm going to call James and Logan and ask if they saw it."

"And, I'll go get your helmet."

"Boo-Bear, do you know where my helmet is," Carlos asked me with irritation seeping through his voice.

"Uh huh!" I nodded my head innocent .

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHERE IT WAS TWO HOURS AGO?!"

"You didn't ask me if _I_ knew where it was."

Oh, how I enjoyed making Carlos mad.

* * *

**A/N: EEP! I HAVE TO GET OFF LIKE NOW! Review please? Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	23. Thousand

**A/N: Well, I'm not entirely happy with the outcome of this chappie but hey, it's better than some of the other blah that I've been writing lately. OMG THIS IS DAY TWENTY THREE! Do you know what that means? That means that there's only a week left of this dumb challenge! WOO HOO! ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN! WOO HOO! WHEN I'M ROLLING THROUGH YOUR TOWN! Guhh! The day after this ends I start school though so I won't be updating my other stories as much. Yeahh... I have to go because my dad is yellinga t me to get off again! Bkeh!**

**Disclaimer: i do not own Big Time Rush or "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri**

* * *

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow _

_One step closer_

I sighed as my fingers gently stroked the fragile strings of my old, lucky, acoustic guitar. My petite, black inked pen scribled lyrics down onto the blank, lined sheet of paper. A single tear cascaded down my rosy, freckled cheeks as I thought about _him_. This time, I was absolutely ready to tell Carlos how I really feel about him, but I couldn't help but feel apprehensive. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he was disgusted by the fact that I'm gay and wanted to date him. I didn't want to risk our friendship but the agony of not being with Carlos was beginning to eat my heart gradually and piece by piece. My heart didn't want Carlos; it _needed_ Carlos. Even though I was barely fifteen, I felt like I had been in love with him for a thousand years. Oh, how I yearned to be snuggled up in his tanned, muscular arms as our lips would gently brush up against each other. Just the thought brings me to tears. I decided on writing a song to show my feelings to Carlos, because that's the only way I could explain it to him without having an anxiety attack. Music just washed all of my emotions out of my body and left me a fealess freespirit.

"Hey Pooky, Carlos greeted me warmly as he ploppeed onto my bed and grinned. "You had something to tell me?"

"Uhhm...err...yeah," I nervously stuttered as my cheeks heated up into a crimson blush. "I sort of wrote a new song for our upcoming album, and I wanted your opinion on it. Listen very closely to the lyrics. They mean a lot to me."

"Awwh, okay Pooky. Now, sing your little heart out for me."

"Okay, I'm going to sing now," Anxiously I bit down my lip and situated my fingers onto my guitar. Taking a deep breath, I began to strum the familar chords.

"Heart beats fast—colors and promises. How to be brave. How can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid; I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. Time stands still—beauty in all he is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath—every hour has come to this. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid; I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more, and all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. One step closer. One step closer..."

"Wow, that was really amazing Pooky! We have to show this to Gustavo and..."

"C-Carlos? I l-love you," I interrupted him and broke down into an intense sobbing fit. My bony fists rubbed at my bloodshot eyes as my slightly taller anatomy quivered. Suddenly, I felt a warm pair of arms wrap around my trembling torso.

"Awwh, don't cry Pooky! I love you too!"

"No you don't, Carlos. Not the way I do. I've always been in love with you, since the day we met, but I'm just you're little brother—nothing more."

Before i could even realizr what was happening next, Carlos's pouty lips smashed against my own. Our noses rubbed together as the older Latino played with my now disheveled, strawberry-blonde hair. I could feel my body soften as I deepened the kiss a bit. Smiling, Carlos pulled away and lightly pecked my cheek.

"I do love you in that way Pooky. I just never told you because I thought that you didn't love me back. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I love you so much, Pooky—more than you'll ever know.

"I love you too Carlos—for a _thousand_ years."

* * *

**A/N: How did you like it? Please review! Peace, love, and Kogie!**


	24. Outside

**A/N: Bleeehh! This was so awkward to write! I mean seriously, what is there really to write for "outside"? No, just no! Ahhhh is anyone feeling my pain? I'm sorry that this is so awful! I also apoligze for any grammar mistakes. Once again, I was rushing!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush! (I wish I did though D:)**

* * *

I shared quite a lot of memories with Carlos over the course of a lifetime, but some of the earliest I remember happened to take place outside. There was this one time when I was five and he was almost seven. We were playing on the new swing set my parents had gotten me in my backyard.

"Carwos, push me on the swing!" I demanded innocently in my high-pitched, baby-like squeal while sucking on my thumb.

"Pooky!" Carlos whined while crossing him arms over his chest and pouting. "I just pushed you on the swing for like thirty minutes! I want to go swing too."

"Pwease Carlos?"

"Maybe later, Pooky," The older, Latino sighed while hopping onto the sunshine yellow object and kicking his legs back and forth with glee.

Sighing, I just sat on the soft, kelly-green grass and twiddled my thumbs. I had yet to learn how to swing by myself and I needed Carlos's help. Extremely bored, I decided to sprint up to the wing and pretend to fly like Superman. Unfortunately, that didn't work out too well for me. The minute my petite, fragile body connected with the rubbery material of the swing, the chains flipped me over sending me plummeting to the rigid, unforgiving ground. Giant crocodile tears ran down my face as I clutched my throbbing knee in misery. I knew that I'd only end up with a tiny bruise, but when you're five everything tends to hurt.

"CARWOS!" I managed to choke out through my ear-splitting sobs as I cradled my injured knee to my chest. "CARWOS! I'M HUWT!"

Instantly, Carlos hopped off of the swing and ran to my side. His spacious, chocolate orbs glanced at me apprehensively as he examined me. "What hurts Pooky?"

"My knee," Whimpers tumbled out of my pouty, pinkish lips as I scooted into Carlos's lap. "Kiss it betta, Carwos!"

Unhesitant, Carlos brought his tiny lips onto the purplish spot tattooed onto my knee and gave it a big smooch. "Are you better now, Pooky?"

"Nuh uh," I smirked through my tears. "My finger and my tummy have owies too! Kiss 'em betta!"

Laughing a bit, Carlos lay me down on the ground, lifted up my red and blue striped t-shirt and started blowing air into my bare stomach. I giggled uncontrollably as I felt the ticklish sensation take over me.

"Ahhhhhh! S-stop it C-C-Carwos," By this point, we were practically rolling around on the ground, wrestling to get on top and tickle each other.

This is why, my mom literally had a heart attack when Carlos and I walked into the house that day with mud and colorful leaves caked in our hair and grass stains all over our clothes. Good times, _good times_.

* * *

**A/N: Ewww! this was horrible! I'm mentally cursing at myself right now! Review please? Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	25. Winter

**A/N: Well, this really doesn't have to do much with Winter, but I ran out of ideas. I mean seriously, wasn't one of the themes like "Snowflake" or something? I feel like some of these themes are just repeating themselves. Yurrrrpp! Well, I guess this drabble isn't horrible...but it's not good either! I'm just so tired and I didn't feel like writing. Oh my gosh guys, there is only five more day left of this dumb 30 day drabble challenge! WOO HOO! ALL THE WINDOWS DOWN! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I was rushing and too tired to proofread (as always).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

As much as I loved the winter, it could be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Along with the freezing temperatures came sickness, something that never mixed with me very well. Of course, I just had to get sick the day before Carlos's and my two year anniversary of dating.

My bony, sixteen year old form pressed up against the side of the neon orange couch as soft moans of anguish escaped my pinkish, pouty lips. Coughs erupted out of my body as I cradled my flat, undeveloped stomach which was churning and twisting like the endless, vivid swirls of a toddler's gargantuan lollipop. I let a few whimpers tumbled out of my mouth as I snuggled up under the flannel dinosaur blanket, Carlos had draped over me minutes before.

"Awwh, my poor Boo-Bear," Carlos cooed as he sat plopped down onto the sofa and rested my throbbing head in his lap. "Do you want anything."

"Well, I want you to hold me in your arms and kiss me like you always do, but I don't think you're going to want to do that while I'm all..._icky_," I feebly flailed my arms for emphasis and curled up into a minute comfort ball.

Biting his lip down apprehensively, Carlos stroked my disheveled, strawberry-blonde locks and kissed my scorching forehead. I just groaned and shut my eyes tightly as if the simple action would just eradicate the illness from my anatomy. Our anniversary was tomorrow and me being sick would just ruin the day for him. I didn't even get him a gift yet."

"Boo-Bear, are you okay? Do you need to...erm...puke again?" The older boy questioned me not wanting to clean up one of my revolting puke messes for the third time that day.

"N-no," I whimpered in a barely audible tone. "My head hurts, my tummy hurts, and throat hurts, and worst of all your heart hurts.

"Awwh, poor baby..." Carlos paused for a moment to completely distinguish the words that just spilled from my mouth. "You're heart hurts? Why does your heart hurt?"

"Because, it's our anniversary tomorrow and you had all this fun stuff planned. I didn't even get you a present. I'm so sorry that I ruined our special day with my stupid fever."

"Oh, Boo-Bear," He sighed while rubbing soothing circles on my throbbing stomach making my quivering body relax into his touch. "I don't care about the activities I planned for us; I just care about you. You're my boyfriend and practically my baby brother. It's my job to take care of you and make sure that you're okay. So what if we have to stay inside all day for our anniversary? Every moment spent with you is a magical one. Any you don't need to get me a present. Having you in my life is the best present of them all," Carlos flashed me a halfhearted smile and pressed his soft lips against mine.

"Carlos, don't kiss me! You're going to get sick too," I protested weakly but Carlos didn't care. He just continued to kiss me while wrapping his arms around my fragile waist.

Just as I thought, the next day, Carlos and I were snuggled up together in bed, both of us battling low-grade fevers. I really wished that we could've spent our second anniversary a better way, but being wrapped up in the warmth of Carlos's muscular arms wasn't so bad either.

"I'm sorry that I got you sick," I mumbled as I buried my flushed face into the crook of Carlos's neck.

"It's okay Boo-Bear. Being sick isn't that horrible as long as we're together. I love you with all of my heart Boo-Bear. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary Carlos."

* * *

**A/N: Awwh, well this was terrible yet sort of sweet at the same time! I can just imagine this happening if Kenlos was actually real. Pleae review? I like your reviews! Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	26. Diamond

**A/N: ASDFGHJKL I'M SORRY THIS IS SO CRAPPY! I had no idea... SHE HAS NO IDEA NO IDEA THAT I'M EVEN HERE - I'M EVEN HERE... what to write because as I mentioned before these themes are repeating themselves. I already did something about rings and proposals for silver, and this isn't a Kames fic so yeah... my options were extremely limited. OMG THIS IS DAY 26 PEOPLE! ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS LEFT! THANK THE HEAVENS! I'm so relieved that its almost over. I seriously cannot take writing these stupid drabbles anymore! Gah! I thought this would be fun. I was definitely wrong about that! It has been torture! Complete and utter torture to write these drabbles! Yurrp! Sorry for any grammar mistakes. NOBODY'S PERFECT... I GOTTA WORK IT! lol hope you enjoy this horrible drabble even know you probably won't but whatever! :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". I do own my OC Henry Jay Mitchell. :D**

Parenting. It was one hell of a task since Carlos and I were barely even twenty one years old, but it was also a fun task as well. The fact that I had somehow become pregnant from a night of unprotected sex with Carlos just made everything more insane. I still remember raising our first born son, Henry.

Henry was an extremely smart kid which was strange since Carlos and I weren't the brightest people you'd ever meet. He was just so curious! Even as a toddler he was always questioning Carlos and I. There was this one time when Carlos and I were trying to get him down for a nap. We were singing old nursery rhymes as an attempt to calm him down and lull him to sleep, but of course, that wasn't working out too well.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star. How, I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..."

"Daddy, Papa," Henry interrupted us while standing up in his crib and pushing his light brown bangs out of the piercing green eyes he had inherited from me. "There's no diamonds in the sky!"

"It's just a simile, baby-bear." I giggled at my inquisitive son as he cocked his head to the side innocently, his colossal puppy dog orbs blinking with confusion.

"Daddy, there's no _smiles_ or _diamonds_ the sky!

"Kiddo," Carlos began while giggling slightly. "They're just saying that the stars are like diamonds, because they're so sparkly!"

"_Papaaaaa_," The toddler whined while kicking his petite legs in irritation. "There's no diamonds in the sky."

"Henry Jay Garcia!" I scolded gently while ruffling his disheveled brown locks. "You are _too_ smart for your own good, now let Papa and I finish the lullaby.

Sighing, the toddler lied down in his crib and gave a minute huff as his spacious orbs grew heavy and sleep deprived. He pouted as he tried to fight off the sleep but swiftly gave in as Carlos and I continued to softly sing while running our fingers through his messy hair; it was a motion that always seemed to calm him down.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are..."

I remember the cute, little snores that escaped Henry's lips as we tucked his favorite, flannel, racecar blanket over his fragile anatomy and planted what seemed to be a million kisses on his forehead. Just as we were about to exit the nursery, Carlos and I could hear our little boy murmur something in his sleep. We giggled as moved closer to Henry's crib and listened to his one-sided, sleep conversation.

"Daddy and Papa know nothing! There awe no diamonds in the sky."

I didn't know what we were going to do with that child.

* * *

**A/N: Haiiii xD Grrrrr! Wasn't this drabble like super duper awful? It was so ultimately awful that I'm dead. Please review? Peace, Love, and Kogie(:**


	27. Letters

**A/N: ASDFGHJKL HAI FRIENDS! So yeah...this is a stupid chappie. It turned it so horrible I'm dying...yurrrrpp!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Though Carlos and I had barely left each other's side, there were quite a few times when we were forced to be separated for such a long time that it drove the two of us crazy. There was this one time when I was fifteen and he was sixteen. Carlos's grandfather had passed away and he was being dragged out to Minnesota for three weeks to attend the funeral and help take care of his grandmother. I was invited, but of course Gustavo wouldn't let me go because we had to finish recording demos for our first album. I was heartbroken. Heartbroken doesn't even cover the emotions that were bottling up inside of me ready to detonate. I was ultimately devastated. It felt as though every moment without Carlos was a waste. Sure I had James, Logan, my mom, and Katie, but Carlos was my missing puzzle piece.

I remember that I became so obsessed with calling Carlos and emailing him all the time that my mom banned me from all electronic devices until Carlos came home. She told me that if I wanted to communicate with Carlos then I'd have to write a letter, so that's exactly what I did. I wasn't very good with words and I really have never written an actual letter before, but this was my only way to talk to Carlos.

_Dear Carlos..._

"No, that sounds too formal." I spoke to myself while scrubbing the pink eraser of my pencil against the couple of words on the lined sheet of paper.

Hey Carlos...

"No that sounds too casual."

_Howdy Carlos_...

"No, to _rural_. I guess I''' just stick to the first one."

_Dear Carlos_,

_I know that I'm not very good with words but here I am writing you a letter. My mom grounded me and this is my only way of communicating with you. Gosh Carlos, what can I say? I just miss you so much. I feel like a piece of my heart breaks off every second that I'm not with you. That sounds cheesy doesn't it? Well, it's true! I can't believe I'm admitting to this but there have been days when I've cried myself to sleep because I miss you so much! You know I sleep in your bed every single night and cuddle the cute, little teddy bear that you gave me when we were toddlers because they still smell just like you. I just wish you'd come home already. I miss being in your arms, feeling your lips against mine, your contagious laugh, but I especially miss your cheesecake smile. Please come home soon Carlos._

_xoxoxoxoxo, Boo-Bear (aka Kendall)_

I sighed to myself as I gently placed the sealed envelope in the mailbox and trudged up to my room solemnly. Letting my emotions take over, I collapsed onto Carlos's fluffy bed and buried my head in his pillows as crocodile tears escaped my eyes.

I remember how a few days later, Carlos had finally come home.

"Carlos!" I practically screamed at the top of my lungs as I jumped into his awaiting arms and repeatedly pecked his chubby cheeks. "I missed you so much Babe! My mom grounded me so I sent you a letter. I don't know if you got it."

"Of course I got it Boo-Bear! I didn't have time to respond since I just received it yesterday but you heart made my shatter more than it already was before if that's even possible. Everything you told me in that letter, I felt the same way. You know I can't stand being without my little Boo-Bear."

"I love you so much Carlos! Never leave me again! Never ever, _EVER_! Writing letters are hard work you know?"

"I love you too Boo-Bear, and I promise I won't"

* * *

**A/N: Yeah.. I really hate the ending! Please please please review? Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


	28. Promise

**A/N: Sorry it's so short and horrible. I'm at my friend's house right because it's her burfday and it's like 12:00 in the morning. So yeahhh...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Over the course of our friendship and relationship, Carlos and I made a bunch of promises to each other. Each one had their own special value and was never, ever broken. I still remember the first promise Carlos and I made to each other. Carlos was around five years old and, I was still three. Carlos was about to start his first year of Elementary School, while I was still going to be finishing up preschool. I recall being so petrified the day before school started that year because I would have to face the school bullies all by myself, and I thought that Carlos was going to find other friends at kindergarten and abandon me.

"Carwos?" I placed my toy car down onto the silvery carpeting and glanced up at the older boy with spacious, innocent orbs.

"Yeah Pooky?"

"I don't wanna go to school tomorrow," Almost at the verge of tears, I crawled into Carlos's tiny lap and buried my head in the crook of his slender neck.

"But preschool is going to be _so_ awesome Pooky! You get to play with toys and paint a whole bunch of pictures while I sit and do stupid work all day. The older, Latino grimaced at the thought and ran his chubby fingers through my disheveled blonde locks. "Isn't that cool?"

"B-but what if the bullies beated me up?" I whimpered in a hushed tone.

"Don't worry Pooky! No one is going to be messing with you after what I did to them last year. Trust me, you'll be fine Pooky."

"B-but what if you make _new_ fwiends and fowget 'bout me?" The words tumbled my mouth practically inaudibly but Carlos managed to hear it perfectly fine.

"Awwh, Pooky! I'm never, ever, EVER going to forget about you. We've been best friends since we were little, and nothing is ever going to change that. Sure I'm going to make new friends but there will always be a giant space for you in my heart Pooky. You're like my baby brother and, I love you like crazy!"

"Pwomise you nevah weave me?" I inquired hopefully while sticking my petite thumb into my mouth.

"I promise, I'll never leave you, not even when we die!"

"I wove you Carwos. You my big bwotha!"

"I love you too my little Pooky."

* * *

**A/N: Ewww! I hated the ending! Review Please? Peace, Love, and Kogie! :D**


	29. Simple

**A/N: Welp, I'm posting early tonight because I start school on Wednesday and I'm trying to go to bed tonight at the decent time of 11:00... it's 9:41 right now :P Yurples! Sorry for any grammar mistakes!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

* * *

Carlos was not a very extravagant, complex person. Even when he was planning our special anniversary dinners and Friday night dates, Carlos always tended to make things extra simple; not that I was complaining about it. I enjoyed those simple nights, when I would lie wrapped snugly in his muscular arms as a random, romantic comedy echoed through our cozy, two-story house along with the crackle of the fire raging in the fireplace. I loved the times when Carlos and I would stroll in the park with our fingers intertwined as the colorful leaves of the trees encircling us would plummet graceful onto our heads. Out of the all the simple yet romantic things that Carlos and I did, just lying in bed together, clad in our superhero patterned pajamas and nuzzled up next to each other's side while whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears was ultimately my favorite.

"Carlos?" I mumbled as I buried my head deeper into the crook of Carlos's tanned, slender neck.

"Yeah, Boo-Bear?"

"Do you know how much I love you?"

Carlos chuckled a bit as he planted his pouty lips on my fluffy, strawberry blonde hair and tightened his grip on my bony waist. "Of course I do my silly, little Boo-Bear! You tell me everyday how much I love you."

"Well, I love you past the moon..."

"And the stars..." Carlos smiled and continued for me.

"And the sun."

"And Heaven."

"And infinity..."

"And beyond," Carlos finished and gently placed his lips against mine, or nose rubbing together like Eskimos.

Sometimes, it was really the simple things in life that really mattered.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was awful. I hought it wuld be cute but now that I'm rereading this, it's absolutely and utterly atrocious! Please review? ONLY ONE MORE DAY LEFT! WOO HOO! Peace, Love, and Kogie(:**


	30. Future

**A/N: Well, here it is... the final chapter of _Reminiscing on Thirty Moments of Kenlos_. Wow, I can't believe it's already day thirty! Thank you so so so so soooo much to everyone who reviewed this story, especially _Morte Giver_ who reviewed every single chapter. You guys were the reason I never gave up on this stupid drabble challenge no matter how much I wanted to. Thank you so much!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or Instagram. I do own my OC's Henry, Ariana, and Jennicka**

* * *

"Henry Jay Garcia! You get your lazy ass down here right now or else you're going to miss the bus," I warned my fifteen year old son while glancing swiftly at the darkening waffles in the toaster and feeding little, one year old Jennicka Elizabeth a spoonful of her mashed up bananas.

"Why do I even have to go to school?" Henry mumbled groggily while rubbing at his spacious emerald orbs. "I'm a zillion times smarter than everyone else anyway."

"You're going and that's final!" Stubbornly, I replied and reverted my attention back to the newest addition to the Garcia family. "Hi Jenny! Are you going to eat your yummy bananas for Dada?"

"No," She squeaked in her high-pitched, baby voice."

"Come on Jenny, you have to eat your breakfast! It's the most important meal of the..."

"Daddy! Look at me! I'm a fairy princess ballerina," Our six year old daughter, Ariana, announced while sloppily falling into my lap and jabbing my head lightly with her Disney Princess wand.

" I see Ari, but you can't wear that to school. Go get changed sweetheart, your breakfast is almost ready."

"Okay, Daddy!" She exclaimed optimistically while prancing back up the olive, carpeting staircase.

I shook my head slightly and chuckled as I continued to attempt to feed the baby. Sometimes these kids could be too much. A smile crept its way onto my face as I saw Carlos practically sprinting down the stairs with his tie undone and one of his dress shoes untied. Once we finally settled down and had kids, Carlos had become the CEO of his well known picture editing website called Instagram, while I decided to stay home and take on the role of a stay-at-home 'mother'.

"Whoa, slow down there Babe," I giggled as I lifted my skinny anatomy off of the mahogany kitchen chair and lightly pecked his pouty lips.

"Morning my precious Boo-Bear." He hummed into my ear as planted a soft kiss onto my freckled cheeks.

"Good morning to yourself. Why are you in such a rush this morning?"

"I need to be at the office early today. I have some stupid conference that I have to attend."

I nodded my head with understanding and tied his tie perfectly. "Have a great day, Babe!"

"I'll be thinking about you the whole time," Carlos answered as he grabbed his coffee and ran out the door to catch a taxi

"I'm going to school now, but I need you to sign something first."

"Oh my goodness, what on earth did you do now?" Curiously, I inquired while scribbling my signature down on the paper in front of me.

"I got sent to the principal's office by my science teacher because he gave me a ninety-six on a test that I clearly deserved a one hundred percent on, and well, I sort of argued with him and called him some choice words."

"Henry, when I was your age, I got exhilarated when I saw that got an eighty on a test. You should be happy that you got an A in the first place."

"I'm not a winner until I get a hundred. I'm going to school now. I am going to be home late because I have an Academic Team meeting." Henry declared while strolling out the door leisurely as his backpack strap drooped off of his tiny, yet well-built shoulders.

"Bye my little Hennie-pooh! Have a great day!"

"I told you stop calling me that Dad!" He shouted through the doorway as he headed out towards his car and drove away to his high school.

Sighing with contentment I kissed Jennicka's fluffy, blonde hair and grinned. I still couldn't believe that Carlos and I had gotten together. Not once did I think that we'd be a couple. Just as I always hoped, we'd be spending an eternity with each other. I finally had my Carlos to spend the rest of my life with. Until the day I died, I would always be his lover—his Kendall Donald 'Boo-Bear' _Garcia_.

* * *

**A/N: Awwwhhh, well now I'm kind of sad that this is ending. As much as I hated it, I admit that it was sort of fun to write. Once again thanks so much for the sweet reviews and alerts! I hope you review this chapter as well. I love you guys so much! Peace, Love, and Kogie!**


End file.
